This blog was written by Mikayla, our beloved office manager here at Meant To Eat. She has generously shared her heart in this blog for you & me – hope you enjoy <3

I remember when I was going through recovery & I couldn’t bring myself to the store to buy jeans that my present body needed. I was wearing sweatpants all the time because I was too afraid of having to go to the mall and spend agonizing time looking at sizes and staring at myself in the mirror. I will never forget when I walked downstairs of my house to find that my mom and sister had gone thrifting and bought me different jeans to try on (that were actually cute, ngl). That moment meant so much to me, not only because they had met me where my needs were, but because I had the freedom to try on those clothes in a non-judgemental space. 

Trying on those jeans was a lightbulb moment for me! It felt so nice to actually have clothes that fit my body. I wasn’t fighting to try to fit into anything- if the jeans fit, I kept them and if they didn’t, I put them in a different pile. That moment built up my confidence in recovery & is still one I look back on to this day. 

That is our hope for you at MTE!! Body changes are completely normal. We want to provide that non-judgemental space for you to find clothes that fit your body as it is! The Here & Now closet is a safe and supportive resource of abundant clothes. FOR FREE! We have so many pants, dresses, shirts, coats, and even shoes that have been donated for your use. We know that getting new clothes is one of the hardest parts about recovery- but it is also such a form of self compassion. 

The beautiful thing about our bodies is that they are the only ones we get our whole life, carrying us through every experience and moment. You don’t have to like your body to show it love, nurturance, and respect—it’s about acknowledging its worth beyond appearances. What are little steps we could take to come back to our body and love her, even on the tough days? These acts of care are not about perfection but about creating a safe and compassionate relationship with ourselves. Here are some of my faves when it comes to a poor body image day:

1. Finding something that FITS!!!
   1. I cannot express how important having clothes that fit your here & now body is. One of my favorite analogies about clothes is thinking about your feet. If you have shoes that are too small, what do you feel? Discomfort, pain, blisters, and a constant reminder that your shoes are TOO small. It’s the same with clothes, especially when in ED recovery. When our clothes don’t fit right, we are constantly thinking about how the band fits around our stomachs, how we can’t sit down comfortably, and brings attention to the parts of our body we are working so hard to stop thinking about. If we are trying to improve our body image, this is automatically setting ourselves up for failure!! Just like you wouldn’t walk around with a size too small shoes, finding clothes that fit allows you to experience your body in a completely different way. 
2. Being comfortable allows you to be present!
   1. This is similar to point #1, but I think it’s an important reminder. What extra time, attention, energy, or capacity would you be able to give with the amount of time you spend trying to fit into clothes? Showing up for yourself & buying that new pair of jeans or dress is such a courageous act of compassion. Yes, the clothes can be expensive, but you are setting yourself up for so much freedom! Being your fully present self because we are not worried about our bodies is such a liberating experience, especially after having so much of that time robbed by ED. 
3. Remember sizes are stupid
   1. I’m sure we all have seen those videos or TikToks showing how sizing is completely different at different stores. How stupid!!! As we are chasing liberation from the numbers game, remember that our bodies change- and that’s okay! Your teenage body is different from your college body which is different from your middle-aged body which is different from your body if you choose to have kids. It’s literally their job and form of protection!! A size or a number associated with a piece of clothing has literally no value to it besides how much space it allows you to take up! We are not in the business of shrinking ourselves, so why would you try to fit in something that clearly is? 
4. My body is the least interesting thing about me
   1. & this is not in a disembodiment type of way, either! I am my body and my body has provided me a home throughout my life, but if you are judging me based off of what you see- YOUR LOSS!!!! Remember, what you bring to the table as a human has absolutely nothing to do with how much you weigh or what size jeans you wear. Your kindness, boldness, compassion, empathy, grit, joy, and friendship are what people (who matter) remember you by. I’m pretty sure when someone says Princess Diana, Simone Biles, or Taylor Swift, I’m not thinking about their bodies, but how they used their gifts to change the world. 
5. Clothes are a form of self expression!
   1. This may sound cheesy, but clothes truly are a way to express ourselves. What we choose to wear can be an outward expression of how we are feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically. Clothing can build self-knowledge and self-confidence that you might not have realized you had. Clothes are also fun!! What a privilege it is to have the ability to pick different pieces and transform the way we look. To show someone we care by dressing nicer, or show up for someone as our whole self in sweatpants. To have a pajama party or an ugly sweater contest! Clothes build that sense of self which is so crucial in body image work. 

I hope some of these reminders were as helpful for you as they are for me. Again, body image work is tough. At the beginning, as we are identifying what is true and what is a lie, it’s the little victories that matter. So be kind to your body. Give her grace. And get some jeans that fit.