I have so many brilliant women in my life.

And each of these women is different from one another. They have their own life experiences that have formed and shaped them into who they are together. And although each is beautifully unique, there is one consistent behavior of just about every woman I have ever known. And this behavior is to put themselves down.

We’ve all been there, including me!

It happens in the dressing room with that heinous lighting and warped mirror. It happens at the gym when we begin to compare ourselves to the woman on the elliptical to the left of us. It happens when New Year’s resolutions roll around and diet talk starts up. It happens when it’s that time of the month and we feel a little puffy.

I understand that insecurity comes easier than confidence and I understand it’s easier to list off what we dislike about ourselves rather than to exclaim what we love about ourselves. But, that doesn’t make negative self-talk okay. Think about your friend’s negative self-talk, would you ever let someone else say those things about her? Of course not!!! Don’t let yourself or your friends spend time discussing flaws.

Next time a friend begins to criticize her appearance, simply say: don’t say that about my friend. 

Let this phrase “don’t say that about my friend” become a new chapter in our girl code rule book. Little by little, I think we can empower each other with this phrase to stop negative self-talk to and to encourage self-love. It’s so very important that we cut off negative body image thoughts immediately. Thoughts become beliefs that become actions. Therefore, repetitive negative self-talk can have harmful effects for many obvious reasons.

My sorority has shown me how courageous and influential women can be. When women empower and encourage other women, just about anything is possible. Enable each other to end negative self-talk and to practice self-love with your new handy phrase, “don’t say that about my friend.”

my beautiful Kappa sisters that empower and encourage me daily, thankful for y’all!