The Shame Around “Dad Bods” and Why It Must Stop

Body neutrality for aging men, dads, and everyday guys

Much of the body positivity movement you see online focuses on body neutrality and positivity for women. But today, let’s talk about realistic body standards surrounding the aging male body and the fitness pressure men face. Somehow, over the years, a soft stomach got branded as a crisis, and spoiler alert: it’s not. 

Men in The Media

“Dad bods” is a term we have seen more frequently in the last few years, specifically in the celebrity world. Men are commonly seen on magazine covers and simultaneously praised for their ‘authentic’ bodies and shamed for ‘letting themselves go’. 

The term “Dad Bod” was coined for pop culture. Journalists and media personalities have worked hard to squeeze the term into any form of media they could, solely for the clicks, likes, and subscribers. They turned normal male bodies into a punchline.

It can be so easy to compare yourself to the men in the media, the actors on the screen, or the musicians that were popular at the time. But let’s be real, Dad bods aren’t a problem, they’re just bodies.

Fighting Against Comparison

There is also a double standard to consider too, right? That men are shamed for softness while women are expected to love their curves? And how often do you hear ‘Men’ and ‘body positivity movement’ spoken in the same sentence? Since when was it considered appropriate to make comments about anyone’s body?

Men’s bodies, just like women’s bodies, can change with age, stress, parenting, and just living everyday life! 

Social media also sets a very high bar. There is so much fitness pressure for men online. From the workout videos, to the ‘what I eat to get lean fast” videos. It’s as if fitness cannot exist without clean cut abs and a calorie deficit. But let me be the one to tell you, you can be strong, healthy, and have a belly all at the same time. There is no joy to be found in restriction and comparison. We need realistic and attainable fitness goals! Your worth does not need to be tied to washboard abs and The Rock level pecks. Nor should you feel less than for having the foods you enjoy. 

New Dads

What matters is how your body feels and functions, not how it looks. We see how pressured men are to stay fit after fatherhood. When the reality is, both parents are working hard just to keep themselves and the baby happy and fed. Let’s let up on this pressure, and thank our bodies for all the amazing things they do for us. That dad bod you’re so worried about, it allows you to chase those kiddos around, work long hours to help your family, and even carry the groceries in one trip, if you’re lucky!

Let’s shift the conversation from appearance to respect and gratitude

Here’s some statements to help with that:

Instead of saying “I’ve let myself go” 

Try: “My body’s adapting to a new season of my life.”

Instead of saying “I need to lose the dad bod”

Try: “I want to have energy to play with my kids.”

Instead of saying “I should be more shredded/cut”

Try: “I’m more than my abs, and I exercise for joy and strength.”

Does your current mindset support a healthy relationship with your body? Click here to take our Quiz!

At the end of the day, your “dad bod” is just a body. It allows you to do so many great things, for yourself and your family. You don’t need 2000s Abercrombie model abs to be valued. Body Image work is difficult, but Meant to eat would love to be a part of your team, cheering you on, in any body shape or size. If you have BCBS or Aetna health insurance, you could receive nutrition counseling benefits 100% covered by your insurance benefits. Reach out here today & we’d be happy to check your benefits for you.

This blog was written by Madison Adams, Meant To Eat Nutrition Counseling dietitian. She is currently accepting new clients and specializes in treating eating disorders, sports nutrition, hypothalamic amenorrhea and PCOS, gentle nutrition for metabolic concerns like diabetes or high cholesterol.