when I lose 10 pounds, then I will be happy…

When I lose 10 pounds, then I will be happy.

When I can fit into a size 2, then I will be more lovable.

When I eat fewer calories than I need, then I will finally be worthy.

These are all statements that I have believed to be true at one point or another in my life. Have you ever had a thought like this? I am going to guess you have and I am going to guess that the second part of the statement never came true. It never did for me.

These thoughts come from the when → then mentality. They are all lies that feed into a cycle of insecurity and loss of self-worth. And these statements don’t even have to be weight related, they can be about getting a certain job, wearing a certain brand, or earning a certain salary. The point is that these when → then statements are not true. 

We create these when → then statements to cover up what we want deep down. It’s usually not just about being thin. It’s about being praised, accepted, or loved. These are things that go beyond outward appearance. That being said, weight loss or toning up can never provide happiness or peace like self-love or faith can.

Now what?

The first thing to do is to remind yourself that life doesn’t follow a contract. When → then statements imply that a specific outcome will occur if you just do that one thing. In case you didn’t know, life doesn’t always play by rules or follow a script, so you must be in a mental state that allows you to be flexible and sound minded. Diets don’t provide flexibility or sensibility, so you are better off honoring your hunger and cravings. Here is a great and quick “how to” on intuitive eating.

The second step toward body peace and self-confidence is to recognize the lies or harsh words you believe about yourself. Then, replace it with the truth. The truth is that you are worthy, you are valuable, and you are enough. Just simply because you are a living and breathing human being, these things are true about you! Remind yourself of who you are on the inside (cue one of my absolute favorite songs). Come up with a personal motto to boost confidence, it’s okay to be your own hype woman and it’s totally okay to talk to yourself. Right? 

You see, with the when → then mentality, there will always be something else to chase after to make yourself feel whole or happy. You’ll never reach the finish line until you are comfortable in your own skin. Today, acknowledge the lies you tell yourself and replace it with the truth. You are enough, friend.